Innocent Exile

Gevald!
Today die rusha guyim arrist many many frum yidden wiz die fols acuze of “monee londer”. Of corse, dis iz oll a big lie, dis iz die blod leebel of die 21st cintury. Even the hailiga Ari Teitelbaum and Duvid Twerski sed so. And evin if dey did it, dey didn’t do it to buy a yacht, they did it for tzduka. Diz goyim are big rashas, and dey did a big rashsal profiling. If dis was schwartzes or Mexicaner dey would never arrist dem. But for yiddin rahsa profiling is good? Vhy? Ve are going to appil to our bilovid prisident Obama so he give us pardon and mididcaid and hell care riform. Vi tell Obama to kill oll dis rasist mudirn ortodoxes who make up lies aginst our heliga kehila. Evrione who biliv dis and say it over is abig chillil hashaim and speek a big lushen hure!

This is what you’ll hear now for a while, and of course Alfred Rosenberg Jr., David Dukelesey and ADov HitBear will harp on for a while. They’ll explain you how the real Taliban (haredim) all live this way and it’s all because they don’t accept evolution and they deny the fact that Moshe Rabbeinu was a Nazi who ordered massacres and gang rapes (Dovtor Mengele actually wrote this on her blog). Also, it’s all part of Bush’s illegal Spying On Innocent Civilians ™ program, in order to take revenge on the kikes for voting against him. They’ll swear that The Yeshiva World refused to report on it, and besides it was only the frenkim from Deal who were implicated.
And don’t miss out on the Retired Retard from Chicago ™ (Also known as Hairless Mary or Harry Blogger, the Half-Brain Prince and his Daily Hollows) who will explain how it all happened because these haredi perps didn’t grow up on Hatikva and were depraved cheesy Disney cartoons on TV. Oh, yes, and they also don’t stand during the siren on Yom Hashoah. How terrible. So now it all came back to them.

Of course, don’t expect anyone to take the sober stance that condemning “bad influences” only in the forms of immodest dressing and “goyische music” is idiotic, to say the least. Besides the fact that the holy mothers from Williamsburg and Kiryas Joel can look like echt zoines all the while conforming to all the Deniers, millimeters and hair origins, there are many ways in which we are influenced by the rusha goyim. The worship of Money Moloch is not new, but openly flaunting an extravagant lifestyle is relatively new – and it happened with nary a word from any Gadol – all mosdos depend on Mr. Rich Guy, after all. Let’s not forget the new blue-blooded caste, the heiliga Kollel Avreichim who are moser nefesh for the Torah – with Kollelim now offering free housing (Pessach kitchen included) and late-model minivans with power doors on both sides (a necessity for busy avreichim who pick up their kids during the 2-hour Kollel break). Of course, eating the glatt kosher schmor and having it too comes at a price, and what better way to help yourself to a schmeer of chopped liver than to schmeer a little receipt here and a little politician there.

The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim siman תקעב' & on) describes the Tshuva and Taanios procedures following a drought. One of the Bais Din’s actions described (תקעו ס' טז) is “...וחוקרים על בעלי חמס ועבירות ומפרישין אותן ועל בעלי זרוע ומשפילין אותן... – to investigate extorters and evildoers and confine them, and humble aggressive and brutal people”. I guess since now we have rain in abundance, the course of action is a Tehillim marathon to save the unjustly arrested innocent tsaddikim. I just can’t wait for the next Tznius takanah to fend off any further unjust arrests.


© Joseph Izrael 2009