Wednesday, February 11, 2009

You Don’t Have To Be Old To Be Wise

Sometimes one can see a silver lining to a very dark cloud.
It is heartwarming to see how organizations that are at odds with one another – and quite often at each other’s throats (preferably about petty quibbles and power plays) unite in times of dire to help the clal.
So you can imagine how warm my blackened heart felt when I saw the posters of the Parnassa intitative in shul, outlining their different ways to help in difficult times.

Isn’t it great that our leaders take the time and effort to help with employment and business initiatives? And even able to put aside their ideological wars for a while to mend our scars?

Unfortunately, it only happens after the fact. How long have I been screaming about leaders ignoring the impending fiscal dangers? Why was everyone silent about abusing the system, hiring illegal aliens and living an irresponsible lifestyle of drunken sailors?
Not one poster, not one word, not one warning, and of course, chas vesholem, no union of JWF (Jewish Warring Factions) to asser –or at least warn- about the housing scam. No. The venerable rabbis sat idle as they got fat on donations from real-estate scammers. No one cared that the house of cards was bound to collapse. Not one suggested that Jewish businesses employ Jewish people to do the menial jobs – no Parnossah fund was established to fill the gap between what American workers ask and what employers pay to illegal immigrants.

But thankfully the satellite circus just rolled into town. The Council Of The Sages Of Chelm have united to help you: free gmachs to start a business – the way to help us out of the hailed “economic crisis”! That’s right raboisai, now that the water’s overhead, the free loan fund will bail out the freeloaders, and the business loan initiative will give 5 grand to those who have enough dishonest friends to co-sign the loan.
I just keep wondering, how these clairvoyants invariably fail to see what’s coming, and refuse to act before it’s too late? Are our wise rabbis in lockstep with the lowliest of politicians, or is it vice versa? So here you have it, the frum version of Obama’s Stalinist payback-ransack bill. And the same old usurpation of Jews’ love of hessed to benefit ganefs who will be the only ones to benefit from the Parnossah initiative.

If the “עיני העדה” are themselves blind, why do they have to be followed?
Since I don’t want to be only negative, I have a few real suggestions to ease the burden & the hurt of the economic crisis:

Entice real estate owners to let people live in their houses for very cheap. There are hundreds upon hundreds of houses standing empty for over two years, yet the prices are not going down. Why? Because the owners know that their politicians will prevent the properties from being confiscated. The real estate gangs stick together to keep prices inflated. The rabbis know, but they need to make a living, too. Tell them to sell the houses at low prices instead of taxpayers having to bail them out.

Second: publish a kol korei signed by the biggest rabbis unequivocally prohibiting the hiring of illegal immigrants. Let frum people pack orders at Kosher supermarkets, and establish a fund to make up the difference between what the employer pays and what they (reasonably) expect.

Third: make all school/yeshiva operators open their books. Parents are choking, teachers are not being paid, and rosh Yeshivas are parading in brand new SUVs and go on vacations in Florida. I want to know where the money comes from. They have an obligation to pay employees before taking profits. The amount of blood, sweat and tears they invested in the yeshiva is no excuse. If you’re a ganef, you can’t be a rosh yeshiva. (ooops, all Yeshivas would have to close…)

Fourth: unconditionally and unequivocally asser to give tzedakah to unknown individuals, or without solid proof that they are entitled to collect tzedakah. I had enough of snot-nosed hassidsh kids shaking their hands in my face asking for “hacnossas kallah” – meaning their own chassunah, coming up in four years. Yes, they do it and it is totally accepted in hassidish circles. Stupid jews fund the hassidim’s shtreimels and Escalades, thinking they do a mitzvah.

Fifth: relax your insane contraceptive rules. David Twerski, the führer of new square, prohibits any and all contraception in any and all case – yes, even if it is known the couple is genetically incompatible.

Sixth: prevent multiple small businesses to compete over one small clientele instead of uniting and opening a larger one. This is mostly due to typical Jewish factioneering.

Lastly, stop the insane price gouging in frum stores. Stop the punitive rent from frum real estate moguls, and tell shopkeepers you’ll discourage your parishioners from patronize them if they don’t sell for a fair price. I’m willing to pay pay 2%-6% more for clothing in a frum store instead of the mall. But not 10%-40%, that’s insane.

Finally – can someone tell me why all the sponsors on the bottom of the posters were from the food industry? 5 brownie points for the right answer.

© Joseph Izrael 2008


The Leader, Garnel Ironheart said...

Who's fantasizing now?

J. "יהוא בן יהושפט בן נמשי" Izrael said...

We're all fantasizing about it every single day - three times

השיבה שופטינו כבראשונה ויועצינו כבתחילה והסר ממנו יגון ואנחה...

I can't think of too many rabbis who are not like Chofni and Pinchas.
Oh, wait a minute, that's insulting... Chofni and Pinchas, I mean.