Ab-Orteum

The heavy truck slowly trudged its way up the narrow, tortuous alleys of this once serene village now turned slum. The flow of curses and obscenities, in sharp contrast, spurt forth rapidly, smoothly, easily from the driver’s mouth, and seemed never to end. What upset the orator was not the fact that this beautiful place was turned into a dump, however.
“It’s all because of those conservative morons”, I observed. This had such a shocking effect that driver and truck alike came to a brisk halt – mid word. “Why?” was the only thing the poor trucker was able to say, still quite dizzy from getting such an illogical reaction. “Why? ‘Coz ‘em evangelists keep screamin’ against abortion, so this is what you get”. Nasty Jewboy was playin tricks with this hard workin’ kid’s head.

The source of his anger was the sight of human females in their early teens walking down the street with four to eight cubs hanging all around then – probably all from different fathers, yet not one in sight. To these little humanoids who will never have a loving family, a father, an education, it doesn’t matter whether life starts at conception, insemination, birth, or any other point in their evolution. They came to life for the sole reason that Broddah wanna knock up Sistah, and Sistah need cash. Now if life is so easily given, why fuss so much over taking it? In the name of sanctity of life mass-murderers, monsters who kill babies on their mothers’ arms, are given VIP treatment, the second amendment is constantly under fire, and there are angry protests whenever serial rapists-murderers are executed. But I see nothing sacred in the result of three minutes’ worth of smut in PS 101’s lavatory.

The book freakonomics demonstrates data showing that abortion reduces crime, as many of the aborted would live under conditions that produce criminals. The conclusion, however, is that abortion as a crime-fighting tool is extremely ineffective. The authors conveniently forget that the survey was conducted in a purely mathematical fashion, combining dry data from totally different countries (many Eastern European countries were included), and blind to societal differences. The fact on the ground is that abortions are performed by girls who want to “advance” in society, and who view an unwanted child as an inconvenience. But in communities where having children before puberty is the norm, and raising them is not expected, no one bothers to have an abortion. Incidentally, these are the communities with the highest crime rates. What a shockingly incredible coincidence! Probably has to do with global warming or atmospheric pressure…

Yasser Arafat proclaimed that Israel will be (or was?) defeated not by the Arab men and their weapons, nor by the bombs – but by the Arab women’s wombs. And many other leaders understand this all too well. Western man has grown too selfish to reproduce – he wants all the crackerjacks and adult movies for himself. But the NAACP knows that single mom benefits and pushing promiscuity results in a large, impoverished, ignorant and excitable base that is sure to keep them in power. Needless to say, the bill is footed by you, dear reader.

Hassidic leaders aren’t too far behind Messrs. Sharpton and Jackson. Any and all forms of contraception is forbidden in most cases, and of course any and all abortions are out of the question.*

But we’re living in tough times, and all the governmental freebie programs aren’t enough to cover the expenses of a poor hassidic family with twelve children, all in private schools, clad in fancy designer clothes – renewed quarterly, not to mention the Suburbans, Lexuses and beautiful (=grotesque, in hassidspeak) 5000sf homes. So totty and mommy are busy thinking up new schemes and themes for a quicker buck, and don’t have that much time to give Yoilish and Chaim Yitzchock and Shpritze Fraidel the education prescribed by Chaza”l. So what we end up with is the next generation of empty-headed hassid robots who can talk a real cool Yiddish, have their pajes curled really cleverly, don the latest in bekitsche fashion, and understand all the pictures in the dirty magazines.
But I’m not so sure they know –or care- the first thing about Pirkei Avos.

The Chofetz Chaim refused to give brochos for children, claiming they are a pikadon from Hashem, and that people do not keep this pikadon properly. “Sanctity of Life” is not a concept for the radical left to toy around with. It includes many things, including the elimination of evil from our midst by means of the death penalty, despite our inherent limits and faults as men.
And it also includes refraining from flinging life left and right irresponsibly. Men must not be used for “parentches fodder” and the fattening of some corrupt rebbe.

I’m not advocating mass abortions or even uncontrolled contraception. But do we really need all those hassidlings roam our streets with an empty gaze, a haggard daze?


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*In New Square, this applies to all cases – no exceptions. Even parents who are known as genetic mismatches are forced by the Rebbe to refrain from contraception. The babies, of course, are to be abandoned in the hospital, as mentally retarded children “disrupt the functioning of a hassidic family”. However, adopting such a child (which incidentally comes with a nice compensation package from the government (i.e. taxpayer) is encouraged. That does not disrupt the serenity of the hassidic family)


© Joseph Izrael 2008