The Pressure Will Blow

I spoke to Rav Yossef Bloch this evening, and he asked me to take off his shmuess from Youtube. He said the shmuess was never meant to be made public, and had he known that he'd have an audience greater than his immediate circle of talmidim, he would have used slightly different expressions. All the information is nonetheless true and he stands behind every statement made.

Please note that there was no pressure exerted on me whatsoever. He told me that the sound files are in my hand and he cannot force or pressure me, but he asked me to take them down. R' Bloch does not want to have any shaychus to the internet, nor to be quoted in public. I reluctantly take off the shmuess for the sole reason that I respect him as an honorable Talmid Chochom and an ish emes.
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I spoke today to rabonim across the haredi spectrum. I was able to gather the following information:

· EJF accused their opponents of taking quotes from their pamphlet “guide” for giyur-rabbis (not distributed to the public), which then several rabbis refuted, and they actually changed that paragraph. (A Shach leniency regarding the ger’s total and sincere intent to accept full mitzvah observance, which was distorted by EJF to mean that the acceptance itself could be eased.)

· RE: Centralizing and/or institutionalizing Halocha, (i.e. in and on itself) whether for general purposes or for a single issue is very strongly discouraged is a bad and dangerous notion. Rabbis should collaborate as neede or see fit, but not monopolize Halocha or Yiddishkeit.

· RE gerus in this day and age: halahic guidelines for all?: Varying answers, more or less around the lines that such guidelines can (or should) be published, or rabbis should voice their opinions if problems emerge, or protest. But certainly not by instituting a body that will be active in the very same field. (Totally unreasonable and illogic rationale, no?)

· RE Belief in a world older than 5768 years: a) constitute ‘kfirah’: widely varying answers from laughs to a firm “yes”;

· -b) if yes, does it retroactively passel (void) giyurs by rabbis believing in an older universe: Chas Veshalom!

· -c) does it disqualify such rabbis from performing gerus: No. The most kanoi: no answer.

· -d) Do such people lecatchila count in a minyan and is their wine muttar: Yes / reluctant yes.

Explanation by most kanoi & second most kanoi: their kfira is not complete, i.e. they believe H’ and are mekayem mitzvos, but they have one (or certain) heretic belief.

RE EJF:

& - Correction & apology: Thomas Kaplan’s wife is in all probability Jewish from birth, albeit they have other intermarried relatives. This person should not be maligned or criticized as he acts in good faith and doesn’t understand halocha and halachic thought (tinok shenishba) and acts in good faith.

& - EJF actively pursues intermarried couples and encourages conversions – more details to come.

& - EJF do use leniencies in converting intermarried couples or their children.


I did not mention names because some rabbis didn't wanted to be quoted in public for different reasons (not knowing enough about EJF, not wanting problems from EJF surrogates etc.) and are unwilling to voice public opinion on the matter. Not yet! The pressure will blow!

Stay tuned.

Killing Machine

How wonderful are the benefits of Judaism! The restrictions on pork chops, cheeseburgers, cordon bleu and other delicacies, as well as the intricacies of Talmudic hair-splitting, the laws of niddah, shmitah, shaatnez, the wonderful privileges of private education and a myriad of other delightful details –such as the way to tie one’s shoes- are no wonder extremely enthralling to the average Gentile. Nevertheless, it seems that the number of those brutally honest, dedicated and relentless children of foreign nations who are willing to give it all up and devote themselves to the wonders of Yiddishkeit has risen in the past decades.

Only an absolute cynic would dare even insinuate that the hope of marrying a desperate Jewish girl, the boons of Aliyah packages or the influence of certain chemical agents might trump the passionate dedication of such exalted spiritualists. And of course, the mere thought that the trivial few dozen grand that a respected rabbi pockets at the conclusion of the giyyur deal –ooopppss, procedure (sorry, hehe)- may somehow influence anyone to find shelter under the wings of G-d’s almighty presence is but vile slander.
It is absolutely evident that if even a scant fraction of the aforementioned atrocious accusations were true, all of the Agudah’s Rabbis would have already assaulted the suspected with Ak-47’s, M-1 Abrams tanks (Merkavas are treif, we know) and grenade launchers. Unless… well, unless there are some totally ‘kosher’ rabbis involved in the scams. I might be mistaken, but I think that it may not be total heresy to suggest that the Torah, which, so far, even according to the theological acrobats of YCT is of divine source, has said “כִּי הַשֹּׁחַד יְעַוֵּר עֵינֵי חֲכָמִים, וִיסַלֵּף דִּבְרֵי צַדִּיקִם. – bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and falsify the words of the righteous” for a reason.

For the lack of space, and also because I do not have tangible, easy to exhibit proof of their involvement in this widespread scheme, I shall not mention names herein. Suffice to say that there is an extremely powerful rabbi in the Israeli chief rabbinate who can virtually create Jews on an assembly line – given the right price, of course. The reasons for the rise in demand for Jews are numerous and diverse – but believe you me, it is due as much to a sudden rise in worldwide piety as to a sudden soapbar shortage.

Amazingly, no one exploited this outrage to stir a juicy little machloikes and kindle the good old flames of hatred. I’m starting to think that there’s no real scandal unless no one smears the other with it. How else can you explain that a “giyur conference” was held in Jerusalem, with the most respected rabbis attending? The conference was orchestrated by several of these giyur-scoundrels, under the pretext that some giyurs are necessary to ‘save’ mixed-marriage families! Can you believe that great rabbis can actually be bamboozled with such nonsense? Oh, poor Johnny’s parents have to buy him presents for both Christmas and Chanukah! Boo-hoo-hoo! So let’s quickly convert papa Paul or mama Jane to Judaism, and we save the poor family all the burden of all the Christmas gifts to all the children (and the tree, too)! And what about all those dead presidents in the rabbi’s pockets? Well, he’s got to make a living too, no? Can’t live on Kollel pension all his life, can he?

This extreme xenophobia of mine stems not solely from my insatiable thirst of conserving the immaculate purity of the Supreme Jewish Race. Although converts in the past lent priceless contributions to our culture, for the most part they were rather detrimental. The Egyptian geirim repaid Moshe’s kindness with the golden calf, an Amalekite ger killed Shaul Hamelech, and from all the geirim I ever met, barely anyone can be called “normal” by the widest stretch of the word. One of these jewels recently acquired by the priestly kingdom & saintly nation is a pornography actor (no, not a former porn actor; a porn actor), who now calls himself “your moral leader”. His moral leadership consists of bitching about the length of davening on yomim noroim and promoting “Orthodox Jewish” sexual perversion groups. I have absolutely not the slightest iota of a shade of a doubt that the rabbi who was megayer this heap of human manure did not make a single dollar on the deal. The initiator of the giyur was Mr. Dennis Prager, the great Orthodox conservative commentator. Prepare your thank-you cards, please.

The current spectator sport called “giyur” serves many purposes to many folks: in Israel, secular people mingle with the mostly Judenrein Russian and Ethiopian immigrants, and a giyur is necessary for a valid marriage. Even after the hassle of a civil marriage in Cyprus, which is recognized by the beginning of the sprouting of our redemption, the holy State of Israel, doesn’t grant all the goodies that a rabbinate-recognized Jewish marriage affords. Besides, the couple grand a rabbi pockets is the cost of the Cyprian trip, bureaucracy and gratuities. (Yes, even goyim can be corrupt, believe it or not). There are also many desperate Jews, in Israel and abroad, who can’t find a suitable match due to a myriad of reasons; their appearance, intelligence, specks on their pedigree, and the myriad of intricate details involved in orthodox Jewish dating. For these people, a benevolent rabbi will find a mamesh excellent shidduch, with the only drawback being that the candidate is a ger or giyores. Add to this all the less-than-Orthodox people who become involved in relationships with gentiles, but their fervent piety -and sometimes grandma- won’t let them marry “just a goy”. A quick trip to the ATM and then to the rabbi does the trick.

But why would anyone protest when it’s a win-win situation for all: the happy rabbi happily pockets the pork and the happy pork marries a brand-new happy Jew/esse. And of course, why scare the public with reports of terrorists trying to kidnap or blow up school buses, veiled women voting in Canada, and judges thwarting the protection of children from internet porn (whoever has internet access should just blame himself), if there can be a juicy feud by exploiting evolutionary books, sheitels and child-molesting scandals.

“Ta-ta, ta-ta-na-na-na-na-na-na na-nannana
Money for nothing and Jews for free…”

Monsey Morons

Or: Traif Chicken And Kosher Terrorists

Monsey is up in arms about the recent traif scandal. As far as I am concerned, whoever is willing to pay double the price for half the quality and eat the tasteless KJ/Vineland chicken (how reliable is chicken from Kiryas Joel, home of the most hideous acts of fraud, embezzlement, sexual misconduct and Chilul Hashem is quite questionable, but as long as nothing has been proven I guess they have chezkas kashrus) quite deserves to have eaten traif. Especially in light of the fact that Shop Rite, which doesn’t employ illegal immigrants, is a lot cheaper – and they whine about tuition. The majority of the Frum world has abandoned an established American enterprise, - a decent and respectable one, offering a superior quality product for a reasonable price. And while you were eating tarfus in the name of higher kashrus standards, many real professional and G-d fearing shochtim were laid off, and a great company had to shrink to a fifth of its original size.

But when a month ago six women were shot in Seattle, WA – one killed – you didn’t bulge. The treacherous Jewish Press barely mentioned the incident, and the two pseudo-frum rags almost totally ignored it. You didn’t call for action to close the borders; to pressure your politicians to enforce tougher immigration and screening procedures. You did not establish armed protection for your shuls. You refuse to admit that it’s Berlin of 1933 all over again. You are busy buying a new fancy car and building a new fancy house but you won’t spend three to five hundred dollars on a firearm. You won’t join the Minutemen or the militia. You won’t write your congressman or senator, and you won’t pressure your rabbi to protect you. You won’t demand the Agudah to pressure their politicians to protect you against terrorism. You’ve got better things to do.

“Kol hameracheim al achzorim, sofo sheyisachzeir al rachmonim”, say Chaza”l “Those who have mercy upon the cruel are bound to be cruel upon the merciful”; the crooked butcher and his corrupt supplier (son of a convicted arsonist freshly sentenced to 15 years behind bars for setting his warehouse on fire), as well as “rabbi” Mordechai Tendler weren’t found thrown in a ditch, beaten unconscious. The phonies who conduct mass-giyurs, (or giyur-“masses”?), the menuvolim who refuse to give gittin and the even bigger fiends who allow the sarvonim to live with second wives aren’t excommunicated, yet people who write books about science and torah reconciliation (which is a great stupidity in my opinion – nevertheless it isn’t a crime) or use the internet are banned or barred from yeshivas. Notorious child molesters haven't been run over or lynched. You have put your own children in their hands to fulfill their evil desires, and watched idle. You are just as guilty as they are.

While you organize public dish kasherings, take some time to kasher your hearts and brains, lemmings.

Our leadership has forsaken and betrayed us – with our collaboration, because we haven’t held them responsible for their positions and accountable for their deeds.

The writing is on the wall, loud and clear. It is up to us to take action now. So if your son is shot by a terrorist and your daughter is raped by an illegal immigrant (or a venerable “rabbi”) while you eat bread baked on Shabbos with traif chicken, know that you’ll have only yourself to blame.