Dragons Are Real

Dragons are real, folks, miracles happen, and there is a God in heaven – or so it seems. The evil charlatan rabbi was finally driven out of town and defrocked.
True, for twenty years he was allowed to drag his frocked belly and fedora all over the globe, lecturing everyone about piety and charity, all the while embezzling millions and proudly declaring “frock you!” to all the world – laughing all the way to the Swiss bank.

You have to understand, we are a tolerant folk. His rabbinical highness, maran hagaon hakadosh, rosh Yeshivas Kol Yaakov of Monsey, Reb Yehuda Leib Tropper Shlit”a was not some sort of hardened criminal. All in all, he only transgressed the requirement of “pirko noeh”. It’s not like he played a wild guitar solo a-la Jimmy Page, or that he had internet in his home, chas veshalom. Kol sheken vekal vachomer he didn’t preach any type of kfirah such as evolution. Those crimes usually grant an instant cherem, having your kids thrown out of school and being driven out of town immediately. Such crimes are clearly a danger to Klal Yisorel and the future of Torah-True Judaism, as well as True-Torah Judaism. Such severe aieiros are labeled shikutz, toei’vah, miuss.

But a lack of “Pirko no’eh” is nisht so geferlach. It’s not as bad as, let’s say, converting people on a conveyor belt, for example. Or defrauding millions from naïve philanthropists – and a charity fund or two as well. In fact, I want to inform people like Avi Weiss, Slifkin, Lipa Shmeltzer, that they are really stupid. If you want the pashkevilim, Yated editors and others off your backs, just steal a couple million dollars, do some uh, umm, huh huh, uh scoring, and huh huh, you’ll be okay.

By the way – breaking news – the Sages of Chelm came out with a new Paskevil. I know you won’t believe me, but I’m tellin’ ya, dragons are real. They came out with a pashkevil that actually makes sense: no drinking and driving on purim! Mamma mia, now that’s a chidush! How they came up with this unfathomable discovery, I don’t know, and I’m sure dazzled that the DOJ is even more machmir, since they asser drinking & driving all year long, not just on Purim.

Dragons are real, I’m tellin’ ya!



© Joseph Izrael 2010

Va'ad Harabonim Leinyonei Deyoma

Stepping into a close acquaintance's house past Purim, I spotted the editor of one of the most prestigious Hareidi newspapers agitatedly gesticulating and arguing about something, even with his clown costume on. Besides my burning desire to completely - and literally - fulfill the mitzvas hayom by consumption of liquid barley (according to my wife the only mitzvah I meticulously fulfill year-round) I had to deal with my own familial catastrophes (only my younger daughter got a dollar - a real one, of paper - from the aforementioned "clownie", the older daughter rejected all consolation even after receiving a silver dollar from Zaidie, and the calamity that befell my wife was really serious, to be sure - the kids smeared chocolate on her beautiful skirt -which was anyway black. Hey, I'm getting smeared every day with fat, blood, tomato sauce, cream, gravy and what not all over, but I guess without being paid for it, that counts for a bad thing), so I couldn't stay to hear what the great brouhaha was all about.

After all the relics left of Scotland and Czech-land were empty bottles, their contents deliciously turned into heat energy, the silver dollar duly converted into an unfalsifiable portrait of George Washington, I was now ready to be filled in on the details of Mr. Editor's outrage;
Turns out that during the course of an ordinary Purim chit-chat, Mr. Editor was informed that the baal-habayis' daughter-in-law was working for the Va'ad Harabonim Leinyonei Tzdokah. Her toils consisted in picking up calls and taking down the details, 24/6/approx 302, forward the transactions to the credit-card processing companies and making deposits, and her salary consisted of twenty thousand American Dollars. I found this as indignant as Mr. Editor did at the time, yet to date he hasn't uttered a word in his esteemed publication, which I find even more outrageous. That people should be paid for their troubles - I totally agree. Even what seemed to infuriate Mr. Editor most, namely the Va'ad's claim every single penny goes into the pauper's pockets, didn't bother me as much as the fact that the recipient of this non-lucrative sacred position isn't one of the people on the va'ad's roster. After all, wouldn’t it make more sense to put a tragedy-struck person on the payroll and ‘earn’ his charity in a more dignified way? Now, in case you imagine that the aforementioned Good Lakewoodian is a wretched kollel wife constrained to live on carobs and stream water, and to diaper her children with fig leaves, I have some news for you. If the New Jersey Department Of Family Development is unable (or rather unwilling, to be more honest) to figure out that Mr. and Mrs. Va’ad Harabonim Employees own three houses and are supported by Mrs.’s father, I’d expect that the Va’ad would make sure to verify to whom they channel the money with which the public has entrusted them. I remember that in the very beginning of the Va’ad’s establishing, Rav Yaakov Fisher ZTS”L said that “this kuppah can be trusted like that of R’ Chanina Ben Tradyon”. (For those uninitiated, let’s just say that this is an extremely strong expression of trustworthiness and honesty.) All who were even faintly acquainted with Rav Fisher ZTS”L know that such expressions very seldom crossed his lips, if ever. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if he would repeat this phrase today. In fact I’m sure he wouldn’t.

That the Va’ad is a valid, and unfortunately necessary organization is unquestionable. Many of their recipients are tragedy stricken families who lost their livelihood under disastrous circumstances, ranging from fatal illnesses to terror attacks and various accidents. It is beyond the slightest shade of a doubt that not only as Jews, but as human beings, we owe these families our full support. Unfortunately, a non-negligible portion of the Va’ad’s list is made up of people who became public charges totally through their own fault. I am fully aware that self-caused necessity, even through irresponsibility, doesn’t automatically exempt us from the obligation of charity; yet prioritizing our charities is fully permitted, and in fact a quite clear list of priorities exists in halocha, and the aforementioned cases aren’t explicitly on that list, and can be included only in the cases at its bottom.

What I can absolutely not understand is why aren’t there any such big, widely-known and Rabbinically endorsed organizations who’s aim is to try preventing, poverty and debt, instead of only helping after the damage is done. The usual answer to this suggestion is that it would be impossible. Experience, however, shows that with good will such possibilities can very well be explored – frum corporations IDT, and recently Empire Enterprises are actually supporting learning/working individuals as part of their frameworks. Nevertheless, the first step should be a very strong educational emphasis on honesty, integrity, and decency, of which abundant sifrei mussar and other ethical works are full, yet their teaching are still by and large far more abstract than practical. I fully support the notion of devoting one’s life to the study of Torah, yet this has either to come at the expense of material well-being and relinquishing far more than just lavishness, or being rich enough to afford not to work, which in the Yeshiva world is usually accomplished by marrying a rich girl. This option is (un)fortunately open only to those who excel in Torah studies, but gives no-one license to act in an irresponsible and conceited, let alone dishonest way. The same is just as true to those who don’t yearn to consecrate their lives to Torah study, only wish to stay in their cozy enclave and lavishly live its lifestyle – fourteen kids, their healthcare and private education, let alone food and clothing come at a price to say the least – wanting a nice house, nice car and not having to toil for it borders both insanity and criminality.

A charity organization is a tremendous lifesaver to those struck with poverty, yet its support of irresponsible people only encourages more of the same behavior. A fund that helps integrate poor people – whether Kollel vets or otherwise – into the workforce, (preferably frum) helps learning a profession etc. would be far more effective. We’d all be better off if frum business owners would employ their own brothers instead of illegal immigrants whom they anyway must support via the taxes imposed by the corrupt politicians they courted to gain the social services who’s majority is being spent on black slums and unlawful aliens. Lower taxes would then turn to higher wages to our brethren, less charity to spend on them, and the public’s ability to afford these workers.

Wouldn’t modeling ourselves after Yaakov Ovinu, Reb Yochanan HaSandlar and accepting Rav Avigdor Miller’s teachings make more sense?

(Two individual anecdotes related to the subject will follow in the comments section at a later time.)

Tyranny And Mutation: When Tolerance Is Intolerance

I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.
-Barry Goldwater


We are well into the days of foregoing the osso buco in favor of fettuccine con alfredo, when the ancient miracle of the Bais Mikdosh, “Omdim tsfufim umishtachvim revuchim” repeats itself in kosher pizza parlors, and the tenor of Reb Yeedle Verdyger is replaced by irritating clapping, banging and barking from every CD-player branded with the prestigious stamp of revered Kosher cetrifications.

Only one thing goes unchanged: our steadfast conviction that everyone not belonging to our clan is either a certified sheigets, a fanatical extremist, or both. In either case, it’s people like them who caused the destruction of the Bais Mikdosh, and it’s because of them that I’m not allowed to take a good hot sauna in a luxurious SPA. And to think that I have to endure this torture punkt when the kids are out of school! A shande, mamesh a shande!

But the kids may be better off out of school. After all, imagine the embarrassment of a rebbe if he were to be confronted with an unruly five-years-old’s innocent question of what exactly is sinas chinom? For it sure cannot be the indoctrination of such youngsters with proper identification of kosher Yidden and treif Yidden, can it?

And since we are already big kids, responsible and reasonable, and we all know well that it isn’t right to relate to our brethren according to hat shape and hairstyle, -exactly the way we do-, we shall actually ask the question: what exactly is sinas chinom? For among the scores of halachic terms that are discussed and disseminated and investigated at length, the aforementioned kleinekeit somehow fell between the cracks. Not Chas VeSholem trying in the least to insinuate that the subject isn’t getting enough attention, -it’s being plenty lectured about- it’s just never really defined, and so the practical implementation remains rather vague.

The gemore in Yuma (8 A) mentions that the Second Temple was destroyed because of Sinas Chinom. The Gemore in Gittin 55/56 elaborates a little more, and tells the story of Kamtza and Bar-Kamtza, two people who constantly fought each other; one was mistakenly invited to the other’s celebration and thrown out despite the presence of prominent rabbis, who remained silent. He then took revenge by bringing a slightly blemished altar offering from the Roman Emperor, which he knew wouldn’t be accepted. The rabbis then started to deliberate about the course of action: either accept the offering in spite of the blemish, or bring down the traitor. Rabbi Zecharia Ben Avkolas objected to both solutions, and Bar Kamtza indeed reported to the authorities, who burnt the city in revenge. But the truly amazing thing is, that in sharp contrast with the story’s opening line that “The temple was destroyed because of sinas chinom”, it is concluded with “Rabbi Yochanan said: the humility of Rabbi Zecharia Ben Avkolas has burnt our city and destroyed our temple”. So which one is it that actually caused the destruction?
We can look at another incident that occurred a few hundred years earlier, when Gedalia Ben Achikam refused to take heed to the accusations against Ishmael Ben Nesania, and was indeed murdered by him as a result.

It seems that this tendency to prefer righteousness in the immediate, simplistic sense, at the community’s detriment, is in itself a form of sinas chinom all too common in most Orthodox circles.

So while mourning the lamb rosemary between the pasta primavera con pesto and the vanilla fudge, we shall ensure to omit from our nine-days recipe any thought about how our children are educated in our schools, and why kids as young as five are experts on all the latest developments in each Hassidic court, which dress apparel indicates a “sheine yid” and which one doesn’t. While we invest untold amounts of money, blood, sweat and tears to establish new yeshivas, schools, mikvahs and so on, we are reluctant to educate ourselves on basic decency, honesty, - plain mentschkeit. While we take great care to examine each leaf of lettuce for bugs, we refuse to see the bugs in our midst. For rather than having a bug with the neighboring kehilla we conveniently look the other way and pat ourselves on the shoulder for our wonderful mosdos.
Unfortunately, it is exactly this behavior that bred the most vile, pervert, degenerate and repulsive tendencies in far too many communities. That man is vulnerable, weak and prone to fail is well-known; that is why we have the Torah and leaders. But when entire communities accept, adopt and abet this kind of behavior, we become Sdom and Amora.

Because each group wants to be independently organized, they all have their own institutions (Yeshivas, shuls, girls’ schools, mikvahs, kollelim etc.) The amount of tax-exempt properties and institutions relying on government-funds rise, while tax-generating properties decrease. Taxes rise, tuitions rise, and ehrilche yidden collapse.

Fraud, embezzlement, fiscal misconduct, deceptive accounting practices are ubiquitous in far too many orthodox establishments. The fact that the situation is similar in secular establishments is no excuse, not to mention the chilul hashem that is created and what it reflects on Orthodox Judaism.

Entire towns and villages live off a wide array of social services, many men don’t work, the businesses employ illegal immigrants instead of providing jobs to dropouts, families are larger than they possibly can afford and educate, while their children are outfitted with $300 apparels apiece, late-model cars and fancy houses are standard. When is the last time a rabbi explained that it is impossible –and forbidden- to have it both ways: not to work, having thirteen children and spending more dishonestly acquired money than one has?! When is the last time since the halahic status of fraudulently acquiring government funds has been discussed? Did anyone bother to clarify whether widespread and calculated reliance on those entitlements - coming out of our pockets – are considered moiser momon Yisroel b’yad Akum?

The groups most involved in such activities are also the most adverse to others – viewing them almost as non-jews, yet they come for donations in the communities whom they describe as “rashaim”, “treif” and “shkotzim”. And those communities, with naïve benevolence or other reasons, by contributing to their “charities” (read: ”hacnosa kala”) are encouraging this behavior and become accomplices.

Although some groups apparently cannot control fraud, embezzlement, welfare abuse, domestic abuse, inappropriate behavior, divorces and agunahs, they seem to have full control over family growth. Couples keep reproducing despite the fact that they can’t, and don’t want to cope with their children mentally, physically and fiscally. Two direct results are inappropriate education and an out of proportion rate of mentally ill children, especially in communities that promote cretinism. In turn, proper glatt-kosher frum institutions are built, as a mentally ill child would no doubt disrupt the harmony of a sixteen-child strong family. Besides, if the government hands out extra money for such noble purposes, why not benefit from it, especially since the CEO who can’t speak a proper English sentence makes a six-figure salary in the process?

When NYC cops were viciously attacked by a savage mob of promoters of the “obvious and well known halocha” prohibiting rebellion against other nations, Molotov cocktails were thrown, police cars damaged and fires lit in the streets. Yet not one condemnation by the rabbis was heard, not a peep in the frum media.

Is this your idea of “mamleches kohanim vegoy kodosh”???

If you believe that it is possible to destroy, you must believe it is possible to repair, to paraphrase rabbi Nachman of Breslov. It is not easy, but it is possible. Acknowledging the problem is half the solution, or so the saying goes. We first must stop burying our heads in the sand. Then we must stop the Jihad-style education for hatred. The honest and pious people who learn Torah in simplicity, and earn an honest living should be touted as our ‘national heroes’. There are plenty of examples, such as the Monsey bike repairman who learns most of the day and is an accomplished scholar. Or the eloquent speaker-rabbi who owns a small store, and learns every free minute. Or the rabbi who lives in a small basement, in greater poverty than his poorest kollel student. Many educational institutions must be consolidated and provide adequate attention to students at all levels. The shidduch-craze must stop as well. We must start loving each other again – and not only in times of dire.
If we work together, instead of against each other, we may find more and better solutions. Unity is the key, and unity is possible.

We just have to open our minds – and practice what we preach.


© Joseph Izrael 2006